Life in 3P

Bunnies

posted by Camille @ 10:59 PM 0 comments

Wassup from Utah

Traveling from Newark, New Jersey, to Salt Lake City, UT, the following Occurred:

Trying to get breakfast at Ruby Tuesday in terminal A, we were served by one of only two employees present in the entire restaurant (including the chef). This doofy, buck-toothed man was trying, but it was hopeless. He had even stopped bothering to print receipts and was simply collecting cash from the customers. A scam? Perhaps, but he was working hard for that money!

The man seated in our row on the plane made us get up, then in the process of jumping over our empty seats, knocked my seat cushion entirely off onto the floor. Of course no apology was offered, he just sat back in his surfer dude-esque virtually destroyed baseball cap and clipped his seatbelt closed. A few minutes after the flight began, he unscrewed the cap of an empty Deer Park water bottle and spit a chunky brown fluid into it, which after contemplating the possibility that I was within 16 inches of a tuberculosis victim, I figured out was the remains of his chewing tobacco. Yum.

After arriving on time in Denver, we sat on the tarmac for over a half and hour and missed our connecting flight despite running halfway down the terminal at full speed. It was SO Jersey when the man in front of us on the plane stood up, stretched, and said, “Man, those people who are trying to make 11:00 flights are screwed!” Thank you mister trashy Jersey man with the the pinky ring for so kindly getting out of those screwed peoples' ways so they could get off the plane before you. And thank you for walking so slowly right down the middle of the jet way that it was impossible to get around you. You are a gem.

And in a very Seinfeld moment, when we went to pick up our reserved rental car it had already been rented to someone else. Of course, the offered us the use of an SUV for a mere $10 more a day, which we had no choice but to take.

posted by Camille @ 12:27 PM 1 comments